How To Play Guitar Solos That Give Women Sexual Pleasure

This is not a joke, apparently   29-Apr-14

How To Play Guitar Solos That Give Women Sexual Pleasure
Photo by Cabaret Voltaire

Have you ever wanted to play a guitar solo so awesome that it gave sexual pleasure to a member of the opposite sex?

No. Because you aren't a member of Steel Panther. But that hasn't stopped one guy from offering lessons which teach you how to do just that.

The Guitar Sex Masterclass - 'How to play guitar solos that sound like pure sexual pleasure and make women crazy', is an online course which claims to teach you how to drive women crazy with your guitar playing.

You still think I'm joking don't you? Well I'm not, here's an excerpt from the blurb on website for the course:

"Remember when you started playing guitar? If you're like most people, you began playing guitar to get a girlfriend.

"Let me tell you a story, many years ago I fantasized about having the power to influence women in powerful ways. I'd wonder, 'What would it be like to have my guitar plugged directly into a woman as I played?'

"For many guitar players, having such powerful abilities to attract the attention of women like that would be the Holy Grail... you have to admit, that would be pretty awesome! Be honest, you know it's true.

"What could possibly be better than attracting the attention of women, impressing women and massively improving your guitar playing at the same time? Answer: Nothing could be better!"

These are the words of teacher Tom Hess, who filmed the course. This is Tom:

Tom Hess

Of course, what this doesn't cater for is female guitarists who want to have the same effect on men. Although maybe the skills taught in the course are interchangeable...

The only way to find out is to take the course, and then walk up to random members of the opposite sex in the street and play solos at them.

Actually, I think I might just stay in and play with a Big Muff instead.

You can read more about the Guitar Sex Masterclass on Tom's website. If you dare...

Written by Richard Beech

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8 Comments... Comments are closed while we transition to Disqus

MPS    Said...

Every time I think that I have seen or heard every moronic thing under the sun, I am wrong.

30-Apr-14 09:33 AM

GTRman    Said...

No, it is true. Our lead guitar player gets laid all the time. This guy is covered in bad tats, has long thin greasy hair and a pimple face. But when he plays the woman go crazy and the rest just falls into place. By the way he never took this course.

30-Apr-14 12:58 PM

Studley McTodger    Said...

Fender are right this minute readying a new guitar specifically for this very purpose.

It's called the Minge Magnet.

30-Apr-14 08:48 PM

gridsleep    Said...

Yes, and they're changing the name of the pick-ups from Humbuckers to Buckhummers. And people still laugh at keytars.

02-May-14 10:07 AM

gridsleep    Said...

Another thought occurred to me: if this were true, there would be more guitars out there than cell phones. Every bloke on the street would have one across his back. The world would look like a Julio Iglesias music video.

04-May-14 03:54 PM

Already Getting Laid    Said...

Judging by the author's picture, I would imagine he's never been able to give a woman sexual pleasure in bed. So why should we believe he can do it with guitar? The instruction course probably just shows you how to play some dime-bag darrell riffs. Lol

05-May-14 04:11 PM

Tokidoki    Said...

Truth only :

07-May-14 01:49 PM

4hL4B    Said...

is some please help me find internet. i was out ther on it year ago. there were many naked people out there on it

13-May-14 11:40 PM

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