F*cking F*cker

Metasonix reveal a truly radical all-tube guitar amp with an unforgettable name      16/01/08
F*cking F*cker


We’ll no doubt be visiting Metasonix as usual at the NAMM show to see this and their other stuff in the flesh but here’s advance news of the new Metasonix G-1000 All-Tube Guitar Amp, featuring a grand total of 23 tubes and a set of controls including 'reverb', 'phase' and 'ream your ass'.
You can see the amp’s other name in the picture. The panel art was created by David C. Lovelace, creator of "Retarded Animal Babies" cartoons on Newgrounds.com on, the "Weird Al" Yankovic video "Virus Alert," and, of course, art for the Metasonix TM-7 Scrotum Smasher.The idea for the amp’s name apparently came from Mike Brown of Livewire Synthesizers, possibly after watching one of those "Retarded Animal Babies" cartoons. Metasonix say that you can blame him...
Here’s the Metasonix press release with all the details…
'There is nothing like the G-1000. Not even vaguely. It is arcane and radical. It is 100% vacuum tubes, from input to output. It contains 100% new-old-stock (NOS) tubes. Types never seen in guitar amps.
The G-1000 consists of two totally independent amplifiers, with very different preamp sections. One channel is called the HAPPY channel. The other is called the ANGRY channel. For damn good reason. One sucks your face, the other gnaws your foreskin off.
The HAPPY channel is a more-or-less conventional instrument amp. It has plenty of gain and distortion (if desired), it has a conventional guitar-amp tone control section, and it has reverb. Everything else about it is DEVIANT. It has a PHASE control, which allows mixing of normal and inverted signals—or it may be adjusted to cancel out the original signal and pass only the distortion products....and, it's all made of unusual tubes. Mostly pentodes, ha ha ha.
The ANGRY channel is well-named. It is designed for instability and raw, berserk distortion effects. It, too, has typical guitar-amp tone controls and reverb. It uses a 6BN6 and two remote-cutoff pentodes. Ask your mother what those are. She's already tasted your foreskin anyway.
Despite the identical output stages of the two channels, they sound TOTALLY different. In ALL settings.
The output tubes are 6BK5s. Obscure, yes, but great and forgotten. Phase inversion is done with 6GU7s. Various types are used throughout the preamp stages: 6AU6, 6BJ6, 6CB6, 6BN6, 5BQ7, 6AK5, and others. No 12AX7s, of ANY brand. How many tubes? TWENTY-THREE tubes in total. Including eight 6BK5 outputs. It might be the most complex tube guitar amp available today....
The output tubes are in a special self-balancing, self-biasing circuit. It is unique to the G-1000 among guitar amps. It does NOT NEED matched tubes, nor is any kind of bias adjustment needed. Output power is 15 watts per channel, and two speakers (or a stereo speaker) are needed.
Vast ranges of tone are available from the G-1000. We cannot even begin to explain its flexibility. The G-1000 is NOT intended for middle-aged "tone questers", who believe that they will be able to play like Eric Clapton by simply spending a lot of $$$ on equipment. We HATE those people. The G-1000 is intended for the intrepid experimenter, not the pathetic imitator. Tone questers are invited to DIE. '
Pricing and Availability:
G-1000 is made on a custom basis only and should be available in late 2008. Expected retail price is US $ 5000. More information:
  • www.metasonix.com More From: METASONIX
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    20 Comments...  Post a comment    original story
    Dave    Said...

    It's not just the name that's dodgy... the main page of their website is infected with the malware: HTML/Infected.WebPage.Gen as reported by the Avira antiviorus scanner.

    16-Jan-08 08:18 AM


    madmax    Said...

    If I wanted messed up distortion sounds, I'd get something like a Z.Vex Fuzz Factory. It's way less than $5000.

    16-Jan-08 10:10 AM


    zerosum    Said...

    ohhhh that was priceless..... call the ambulance before I hurt myself from laughing too hard.... Your comparing a Fuzz Factory to a dual channel valve amp that uses tubes(23!) that you wont find in any other amps???? This defines Unique, not "BOUTIQUE......."

    16-Jan-08 10:23 AM


    CI    Said...

    Madmax, just limit yourself with the obituary in the forums.

    As for the amp, very unique and creative and albeit a little bit expensive for me. But If I had 5000$ to spare, I would definitely get one. There's so much tonal capability in there !

    16-Jan-08 11:06 AM


    Mr. Tunes    Said...

    their product titles are funny for about 10 seconds and then the novelty wears off and you're left wondering how immature these folks are to be taking products they've worked x amount of hours on and name it something like a grade 6 would. i guess this is what happens when you skip the marketing department

    16-Jan-08 12:10 PM


    old guy    Said...

    yep, thanks for that Metasonix guys. I *am* one of those old tone guys, but I won't be dying anytime soon. I guess I'll just have to pack up my 12 grand and waste it on a Dumble or some other old piece of crap.

    ps. hire some marketing people who are beyond high school... please

    16-Jan-08 12:15 PM


    moon raker    Said...

    looks like a piece of crap. Probably sounds like a piece of crap. Has a crap name. Has 23 valves (why oh why?). Anyone who buys this thing has got to much money to spare and no idea what to do with it.

    The name doesnt offend me...... its just shit.

    16-Jan-08 02:36 PM


    Andy    Said...

    Like I'd want to buy anything from a company that implies that my mom does blowjobs on me? Need to grow up - you're not making yourselves sound hard (in any sense) — just puerile.

    17-Jan-08 02:50 AM


    Andy    Said...

    Like I'd want to buy anything from a company that implies that my mom does blowjobs on me? Need to grow up - you're not making yourselves sound hard (in any sense) — just puerile.

    17-Jan-08 02:51 AM


    atlas2k8    Said...

    "implies"

    doesn't sound like Metasonix is implying blowjobs at all.

    Looks like they came right and said your mama chewed your foreskin OFF

    the genius of Metasonix message is that they're insuring you know up front that this gear:

    IS NOT FOR YOU

    You just stick with your 30th generation Bassman clone.

    17-Jan-08 06:00 AM


    David    Said...

    Fucking and fucker are nothing but two words. Look at all the comments about the name and how little about the unprecedented design. Now who's childish? The marketing strategy is a filter. It doesn't want you to own it if you think you know how it sounds by the name and look. Don't even play your Bassman clones. Get an amp simulator. That's way less than $5000 also.

    17-Jan-08 02:09 PM


    o.rob    Said...

    anyone insecure enough to be offended by an advertisement for an original guitar amp deserves to run sound in a karaoke bar. unique pieces of kit are more often than not a bit more expensive and your typical yamaha...get off your horse and salute the man for making something original...he's not selling it to you with a gun to your head.

    17-Jan-08 03:02 PM


    not buying    Said...

    oh yeah -- all you 14 year olds who think the name is cool and the fact that every tube they could find is crammed into it so it MUST sound good -- you are obviously the intended audience. Watch the video at NAMM...asked how it handles heat of all those tubes, the guy says " I guess I'll add fans... lots of them". Yep, that inspires confidence.

    19-Jan-08 03:25 PM


    George Thorogood's Scrotum    Said...

    Gee, most of these commenters really suck....

    19-Jan-08 11:17 PM


    No_way    Said...

    These guys hate pathetic imitators (that's ok), but making this amp that is soooo "fucking cool" by copying the JCM900 head case is just not very unique! Way to go Metafuckingsonix...

    21-Jan-08 01:23 PM


    David    Said...

    Comparing this amp to a Marshall is a supreme display of ignorance regardless of one's opinion about Metasonix. Wake up. You are taking part in a social experiment. You are the rodent. A critic is at least a professional bitch. An internet troll is not so professional. If you have no experience with something, please keep your opinion to yourself. The anonymity of the internet will not transform you into an expert.

    25-Jan-08 01:31 AM


    bizzaro lord zool    Said...

    i really can not wait to get my hands on this aw inspireing device i was at namm and none of the videos do this beast justice. sadly i will have to sell a organ justice have to decide which organ i hate the most hhhhmmmmmmm

    31-Jan-08 11:10 PM


    U.K    Said...

    ooooohhhhh a swear word, oh no what shall we do. everyone who is bothered by the name of this amp should really use thier time and effort on tracking one of these down for a demo on how it sounds, that is why it has been made, to produce a certain sound. the name is a marketing tool and it works, everyone is talking about it, like it or loath it. as for the $5000 price tag all i can do is laugh cos i'm english and we get 2 dollars to the pound so its only £2500, about 1months wages to me. Dumb americans!!! lol.

    10-Feb-08 07:11 AM


    born in the usa    Said...

    >Dumb americans!!! lol.

    Heh -- at least we don't have a stupid 20% VAT! And our food is better. Stupid Brits!

    27-Feb-08 08:21 PM


       Said...

    Your food is better?? would that be the spanish food? or mexican or italian or jewish food you lot serve up as your own??? no wonder you are all so obese, you know they say 2 out of 3 americans are actually 1 person. the list of american stupidity and false sense of worth would be so big that not even an american could digest in his gas guzzling supersize hillbilly stomach. TWAT!!

    15-Mar-08 10:30 PM


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